I wish I could call you pt 2

"I dont understand why I work this way.

Is there something wrong with me or is this just what having romantic feelings for someone feels like.

Sometimes I focus so much on my own inner work, the healing, the growing, the awareness of my self and others.

When Im on this drive, the sudden urge to switch lanes makes me feel like Im going to crash".

He now wants to go down memory lane, where she exists

Scrolling up their texts in search of something, anything

All he wants is to hear the sound of her voice.

Remember the tone and how it felt.

He debates and argues with himself. "How will I be perceived if I call. I already texted 3 times".

Finally, he finds a voice note, his heart jumps with excitement.

As soon as the sound vibrations of her voice meet his ears, he is submerged in her tranquil essence. He's reminded that her u vowel is more emphasized. He's reminded of how soft and gentle she feels to touch. How delicate she feels to get to know.

"I like that she's delicate. I like that she is complex and intricate to understand. I love how specific she is and knows exactly what she's comfortable with and what she is not comfortable with. I like how I feel when Im around her. I feel calm. And like nothing else in the world exists but us".

"Am I falling for this girl???!"

In the voice note she says mid sentence "... I really wanna see you..." with a gentle laugh to finish.

He then gently slams his head against the top of his screen.

Tears build up in his eyes. He looks out the window in heaps of desire to call her. All he wants is to hear her.

.......

friday, february 17 01:44

he sits and resists switching lanes. Instead he asks why do I even want to call her?

he answers in his journal.

Because I miss her and I genuinely care about her and love her and I want to make sure she's okay. I just want to know she's okay.