Getting “lost in the sauce”

This phrase has been used amongst my friends and i often this past year, 2022. It can mean getting lost in your feelings through a connection, getting lost in a moment that feels infinite, or in today's case; getting lost in social media.

I started the year off being stripped away from wi-fi, running water, and electricity. I wish I could say I'm a witch and I time traveled to the 1600’s. But I'm not that kind of magic. I stayed in the outskirts of Massachusetts with my high school best friend and her family, where we stayed in these cute cozy cabins. The cabin I stayed in was about a 10 minute walk from the well where we’d have to go fetch our own water to cook, wash dishes, and make plenty cups of tea. It felt refreshing to be reminded how much water we use on a daily basis and how easy it is to take for granted when you have a functional sink. Our sink was big and made out of stone, there was of course however, no tap. My friend and I filled large bowls with a bit of water to wash our faces and brush our teeth at night. She is more experienced with cabins than I am, as this was my first official trip, so she kept up with the fire. Oh boy that fire sure kept us hot and toasty for dinner every evening. Whenever it went out at night my red nose would wake me up to shift and shuffle around till warm again. Thanks to my beloved friend.

The dim lighting at night made me feel the most purely human… actually, it was probably all the walks to release my urine that made me feel most human. I remember squatting down in nature. Pants held in my hands so it was out of my way so I wouldn't wet them. And all there was, was the silence of the forest that seemed to live on around us forever. I remember looking up and thinking “I wonder what it would feel like to be an owl up at the top of that tree… or that tree… or ouu that one looks the coziest”. Upon our arrival on the first day, we saw the most fluffy and gorgeous owl on our porch, where she tucked her head into herself close, shut her eyes, and breathed in the sun. Oh, to be an owl I thought. We named her Georgina. I strangely have good eye vision in the dark, I think it might've been all the carrots I ate as a child (I had a strange obsession with carrots growing up, specifically only with lemon/lime and salt). I was able to go on my night walks with no light. It was frightening to me how calm I felt. I could feel my body wanting to be on alert, slowly merging with the slightest bit of anxiety. Like when you try to turn a gas stove on but fail. Yeah my anxiety kind of looked like that. All I had to do was take one deep breath and hear nothing but the crunches of the bottoms of my feet coming in contact with the ground. Then is when I knew I was safe. I felt so safe. Which was the best part.

My favorite part of the whole stay was having little to no connection. I actually hated the moments I had bars on my phone and would receive notifications. I realized early on having all notifications off + being on do not disturb = my solution. Towards the end of 2022 I created a habit of mindlessly scrolling on my phone, which I had never done before. I've always despised mobile devices for as long as I can remember. If I could choose for everyone to have a flip phone, I would. So it was really devastating for me to accept that I, Eileen Galdamez, had fallen into the trap that is social media. I started using social media more actively throughout 2022. I never participated much in it throughout my teen years or anytime before that (i'll create a separate post about my entire relationship and perspective with the media). This cabin trip was the perfect most seamless way for me to become aware of what intentions I have when I pick up my phone. One night my friend talked to me about a famous dog online that presses buttons to communicate with its owner. I found the idea way too adorable and fascinating so I picked up my phone and opened the instagram app for the one and only time on the trip. It felt unnatural to 1. Have the device in my hand, 2. Have access to the behavior of someone else’s dog that I don't know, 3. To have even more access to anything else I really could have imagined. After living a few days beforehand in what felt most natural, my head literally started to ache after a few minutes. So I stopped and put the dog away.

Social media is a privilege and I don't think we ever talk about it that way. We live in a generation where we google everything and take it for granted. I wonder what my ancestors would do when they were not sure how to treat an injury or stain on their clothing. Did they just leave it up fully to their intuition? What would the world look like if we followed our own instincts? Would it be better, worse, about the same.

Getting lost in the sauce of social media is easy because all we have to do is pick up our stupid but i guess according to technology not so stupid apple phone, and open up our silly little apps. And boom. You're golden to be snatched and enslaved by the screen. When I returned from my trip I more easily caught myself in the act of scrolling - for no reason or outcome. I would stop, physically drop my phone wherever I was and ask “okay what do I actually need to do right now/what does my mind, body, and soul want to do/how can I make use of my time”. Or I would ask the famous question by Doctor Daniel Adam “is this good for my brain or bad for my brain”? I think we can all easily answer whether mindlessly scrolling on a screen is good or bad for your brain health.

One night where I dropped it and put it away, I decided I wanted to paint. I spent the next couple hours creating a painting I love. Instead of looking like a depressed sack of potatoes on a bed doing nothing but staring and scrolling. Because that is what you look like when you just sit there and scroll my friend. I don't know why but that look gives me the biggest ick. Seeing someone out of touch with their ongoing reality is honestly unattractive to me. To me it is saddening because of all the living literal beauty there is in the world. (i've always been afraid to state my own opinion on these kinds of things, but this is my blog so no more holding back).

Wanna know a secret? It's one of my biggest pet peeves.

When someone is close to me or around me and pulls out their phone at full volume and scrolls on tiktok, I literally want to throw up. It is the most unattractive sight I think there is to see now in 2023. Grow up, unless you want to be an ipad kid then i mean go off do you boo. I think being in control of your mind is way hotter and healthier. This goes to my personal friends that do it rarely too. Now you know. And I still love you.

I appreciate the friends that are able to be present with me. For me, it's a form of high respect.

The topic of media can lead to so many avenues like addiction (phone addiction is real so get real with yourself and get a grip, more research and proof to come), self-esteem issues, false advertising etc. There may be some positives about media, which I'll get into in a different blog (because I have to research the actual true HEALTHY benefits).

I think it's important for me especially to talk about media and do more research as I am on the internet. I promise it's for good. I don't want your money or force you to be here with tactics. I want to raise awareness over the detrimental side effects these powerful devices have over us. Why do I care? Why am I so passionate about it? Because I think you deserve a life where it's lived by choices you want to mindfully make. I think you deserve a life where you feed yourself with gratitude and positive thoughts. Rather than feeding yourself the negative or becoming depressed… all controlled by a screen! We deserve better babies and I want to help. I don't think it's fair to live in a culture where our worth is measured by the amount of fame we have online, when we are already so magnificent with out it. I would love to see what your mind can create in the next couple hours rather than being that sack on potatoes.

Thank you for reading, thank you for being here from the bottom of my heart. To many more blogs about raising awareness of our enslavement to the media. Clink!

Eileen M.G.A.